Ok ladies! I am reading Steve Harvey's new bestseller, "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" and to say that it has been insightful is an understatement! This book gives the ultimate male perspective! Steve Harvey basically gives us ladies a cheat sheet on the inner workings of the male mind! I would like to say that I picked up this book and read a whole bunch of stuff that I already knew...but I didn't! And ladies, what you don't know CAN hurt you!
Its not that it has all been a huge revelation...there is some common sense involved here. But the fact of the matter is men think very differently than women...even more so than I thought! I've learned about what men want, what they need, and how they view themselves as men! I've also learned that I am a Damn Good Woman! I know this now more than ever!
There is one particular chapter in this book that got my attention..."Why Men Cheat". It is the question that we as women have often wondered, but never really understood. We don't understand because we are women and we don't think like men. Its not that women don't cheat...but the reasons that a woman cheats are wholly different from the reasons that a man cheats! According to Steve there are several reasons that a man cheats! And the #1 reason is because they can! Now ladies, if your like me...this doesn't sit well with you! But something else caught my attention even more than this! The reason? It hit home for me. It became personal. It became something I could relate to because I have been through it! And, it was a revelation! In this book Steve writes,
"The moment your suspicions turn into a Law & Order-type investigation, we're (men) going to lie and deny. That's if we care about you. But if not-if a man doesn't see you fitting into his life plan-he won't even bother with all of the covering up and the chitchat after he gets found out. He'll simply tell you that he was sleeping with someone else because..."
A little story about me: My ex and I broke up like 3 years ago! And (you guessed it!) he cheated! I found out through the girl he was messing with. She and I had been friends a long time ago and when she found out about me, she wanted to let me know what was going on. So my response was just to ask him...straight up! It was the day of our one year anniversary (you see at the time I had been a flight attendant and the next time that I saw him after I was given this information happened to be our big day)! Anyway, regardless of the day I had to know the truth...and I had to be able to look him in his eyes when I asked him. He confirmed everything! He told me it was true only after a slight moment of hesitation.
Journey back to present day: WOW! It hit me! I spent one year and one month of my life with a guy who didn't even care enough about me to try to lie to me! Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that I know and I wanted the truth, but the point is he didn't even try to deny it! This means that he wasn't even concerned with the prospect of losing me! He didn't see me fitting into his life plan! WOW! I suddenly realized that I was never supposed to be a long term thing. I mean I knew that his mother and his best friend didn't think I was good enough for him because I wasn't, in his words, "part of the Black social elite", but what I did not know was that he felt the same way! I did not know that I was dispensable in his eyes. I did not know that I was temporary. I realize now that he wanted me to break up with him! And when I didn't...when I forgave him because I was just sooo in love (puke!), he became a huge jackass...completely ignoring me until I was fed up enough to do what he wanted me to do in the first place.
Its funny. Knowing this now is actually liberating in a way. It frees me up to understand that it wasn't me...it was him! Believe me, I understand what a good woman I am and I also understand that I am worth making plans for. I just wish he hadn't wasted my time when he knew that I wasn't the one for him. But, hey you live and you learn!
Anywho, ladies get into this book! It is a fun read that is full of insight and helpful tips!
Golden Nugget: Today I am thankful that I've learned from past mistakes and I'm also thankful that I can acknowledge that I am only human and that I may fall down...but I will always get back up!
