Ok, I am really PMS-ing! Been having a ho-hum day but for some reason everything is getting on my nerves today! I have just been thinking about my life and how it is sooooo different than I imagined it would be. I mean when I was in high school, nothing was impossible! I had the whole world at my feet. I was going to be wildly successful, effortlessly beautiful and insanely happy. I did NOT anticipate being a 26 year old unemployed college graduate living at home with her mommy. Yet, this is my life (and yes, I am all too aware of just how sad and pathetic that is). I didn't think it would be this hard. Everyday I am searching for jobs...everyday I am trying to stay optimistic...everyday I'm wanting to be someone else. And I hate that. I hate that I feel this way. I hate that I'm aware that there are so many people worse off than me and yet I still can't be happy. I hate that I am envious of other people and yet I can't help but to ask, "Why them and not me?" "What makes them sooo special?" Maybe this is my rough patch in life. Maybe this is the time in my life that I have to muddle through before I get to the good stuff. All I know is I need something to change. I was hopeful that 2009 with its new President was going to be like a magic pill that transformed my life. It wasn't. No...today was not a good day.
Golden Nugget: Today I'm thankful that I'm still breathing. I'm thankful that I was able to tick off one more 'rough patch' day...inching closer and closer to the good stuff. C'mon GOOD STUFF!!!
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